Unprepared Page 8

  It was evening by the time the roof of their modest house came into view through the trees. It wasn’t fancy, but it backed onto a beautiful reserve, full of trees and birdsong, in which they were walking. They approached the rear of the building, desperate to get inside, with David fumbling with the keys. The rear door unlocked and David entered first, with the familiar smell of their home filling their nostrils. God, what a beautiful smell, he thought.

  Kelly turned and grabbed her husband in the doorway, as if they'd just taken ownership of their home all those years ago.

  “We’re home... We made it… Thank God,” Kelly said.

  “Babe. Thank you,” David replied.

  Chapter four

  Home

  One of the reasons they chose to live on the southwest corner of Lynchburg was its greenery. It was a lush, hilly place with clean air. The crime rate was fairly low and the people were friendly, or at least they used to be. It was also close to Richmond and Washington, and close enough to spend a day by the sea. Most importantly, it was far enough from their prying parents’ eyes that they could live the way they wanted: purely for each other.

  “When are you having kids,” was a question repeatedly asked by their families living back in Sacramento, where they initially met and used to live.

  Surely, by moving two thousand miles away, they could escape this incessant push for them to procreate.

  “God said that you should go forth and multiply,” David’s mother would say.

  “Yeah, but at what point do we say mission accomplished, mom?” was always his answer, as the human population sped past seven and a half billion.

  He thought his answer was witty, but it made no difference. It was an emotional argument, after all, not a logical one. Kelly had tried logic with her mother as well.

  “Mom, if people actually wrote down all the pros and cons, no one would have kids. You’d run out of paper on the cons before you could even consider any pros!”

  Similarly, that argument didn’t hold water.

  The truth is, David and Kelly were just happily childfree. In our modern era of child worship, being childfree wasn’t something they broadcast publicly, being acutely aware that their lifestyle choice offended some people, but it was who they were and they couldn't help that.

  They had both long known, since they themselves were kids, that they didn’t want to be parents themselves. It wasn’t, like some parents imagine, a denial of a natural urge to procreate. Rather, they felt that they were born without the urge to be a mother or father. Of course they liked sex as much as the next couple, but only as long as it came without the unwanted byproduct of children. This meant that Kelly was one of the millions of women on long-term birth control by method of a intrauterine implant, while David opted for a vasectomy in his early thirties.

  They traveled the world, ate out regularly, bought themselves gadgets, saved for their retirement, and lived purely for each other. They loved their life, they loved each other, and Lynchburg was home.

  Life was good.

  ◆

  David was a light sleeper, which made the single click coming from the other room all the more pervasive in the dark, early morning stillness. His eyes opened fully in the blackened room, a shot of adrenaline flushing his chest. He lay deathly still, waiting to see if he was imagining it. Was one of the window frames simply contracting in the cool outside air? Old houses did that sometimes. Maybe it was nothing?

  Clunk.

  He took a short breath as a chill went down his spine. His right arm reached to the bedside table, feeling around for the familiar cold, jagged shape of the Glock 19. His hand slipped around the grip and he slowly lifted the blanket off his chest as not to make a sound. His legs slipped out of the side of the bed, touching the floor. With shallow breathing he carefully stood up and in the darkness of the room, moved slowly forward, his left hand extended out in front of him, waiting to make contact with the door frame. His foot hit his jeans, sitting in a pile on the floor. He stepped carefully over them, gun extended in his right arm, edging closer to the door frame hidden in the darkness. Contact. He could feel the door frame. The kitchen was at the end of the short hallway.

  Clunk-clunk.

  That sounded like a person putting down a plate. His back stiffened and his breathing increased audibly.

  “Babe?” an unsettled voice asked from the kitchen.

  “Kel, is that you?” David responded.

  “Yeah. Sorry, I couldn’t sleep.”

  “Jesus, Kel. You scared the shit out of me.”

  David relaxed, dropping his arm down, and walked carefully into the kitchen, using his left hand to follow the wall, with the gun in his right, completely invisible in the darkened room.

  “I was trying to make some cereal, but I can’t see a damn thing.”

  “Shit, babe. Honestly, I thought there was an intruder in the house or something. We need to create a kind of secret signal or something.”

  The dry echo of a gunshot rang out in the distance. It wasn’t even 5 AM yet.

  “I was going to make some coffee, when I can actually see the damn gas burner,” said Kelly.

  “That sounds good. Just don’t make any light as I don’t want anyone seeing we’re home. The fewer crazies, the better. I can only imagine the center of town is in lock down. We have a lot of work to do today, inventorying, planning and covering the windows.”

  “Have you checked the radio?” Kelly asked, hopeful.

  “I will, as soon as the sun comes up a little. All yesterday, I was planning to do it as soon as we got home but I just zonked out the minute we got back.”

  “It was a hell of a day yesterday. One I really don’t want to remember.”

  David felt around in the dark and put the gun on the kitchen counter, before moving closer and holding Kelly, both hands around her waist. She relaxed with a heavy breath and tucked her arms under his, holding his waist. Their warm breath washing over each other's faces and necks, quickly turning into soft kisses, their tongues pressed against each other. Kelly could feel David becoming aroused, his waist pressed against her belly, his underwear unable to hide human nature. That was the thing about David. He might be concentrating in the middle of an important task, or ready to fire a gun in the kitchen in the dark, but the minute Kelly placed her hand inside his pants, his male brain would suspend all operations and hand over control to his smaller, less logical brain.

  They made their way back to the bed, going by touch, in more ways than one. At first, they almost tripped over the bed, landing in a sitting position. Kelly climbed in first, sliding under the covers. David followed, grasping her tightly and kissing her mouth, before releasing her and changing focus to sucking on Kelly’s curvaceous and sensitive breasts. This went on for a minute, before his right hand maneuvered down, pulling at her underwear. Like most women, she was capable of multitasking. She lifted her midsection off the mattress just long enough to allow David to pull her underwear down to her thighs, all while kissing him and simultaneously reaching inside his boxer briefs. With her underwear gone, David now had access downstairs and fought with the urge to jump on top and insert himself inside her, choosing to stimulate her first with his hand instead. Kelly was breathing rhythmically, whimpering occasionally, wriggling and twitching.

  “There. Right there,” she panted.

  David tried to pinpoint and focus his energy on that exact location, just inside her that seemed to hit the spot, but it felt like the goalposts kept moving. He could never find the same magic spot twice, but he enjoyed the challenge. Kelly gave him the green light to enter her, which was exactly what he was waiting for. Like an entrée, foreplay was fun, but it wasn't the main course. Climbing on top of her, he used one hand to hold up his torso, while the other helped guide his blind and clumsy dick to its ultimate goal; entering her warm and inviting body. Maybe it was the adrenaline of the day before, or the secure feeling of being back home, but David and Kelly released a lot of energy th
at morning. They had long forgotten about coffee, breakfast or the day before. Funny how sex does that.

  “Hey,” Kelly said, propped up on her side, supporting her head with her hand.

  “Hey,” David replied, looking up at his beautiful wife.

  His gaze changed direction, looking at the dead alarm clock by the bed; a force of habit.

  “What time do you think it is?”

  “I honestly have no idea. It looks like about 7 AM. Maybe 8?”

  David’s face became more serious.

  “The shortwave radio. I’ve got to figure out what’s happening.”

  He swung his legs out of bed and reached over to pick up his pants, putting a leg through each hole, then pulling them up to his waist as he arose.

  “I’ve got to check the spare cell phone too. It’s all in the cage.”

  Kelly remained in bed as he walked out of the bedroom and straight into the spare room next door. They used this room as both a computer & games room and storage of prepper essentials. Under a bunch of boxes sat an old microwave, unplugged. It stopped working a couple of years ago, and rather than throw it out, David decided to use it as a Faraday cage.

  ◆

  A Faraday cage is a simple device. It’s essentially a metal box which blocks electric fields from entering or leaving. Microwaves are essentially consumer Faraday cages, protecting you as you watch your oatmeal spin around inside. Without the protective Faraday cage, your face and eyes would be cooked from the high energy electromagnetic waves emitted from the device’s magnetron. The concept of a Faraday cage also works in reverse; stopping an electromagnetic pulse (to a certain extent) from affecting the contents inside.

  ◆

  David took three boxes off the top of the microwave and cleared some room in front, so its door would open. This was the moment he’d waited more than a day for. Was it North Korea? Was it an accident? Was the whole country affected? Was the military on its way? Answers were just seconds away.

  He opened the microwave’s door and took out its precious contents, their value skyrocketing in just over a day, placing them on the floor. He tore the packaging off the unused portable shortwave radio and grabbed two AA batteries from inside the microwave. He didn’t need to store the batteries in the microwave as they weren’t affected by electromagnetic pulses, but it was just easier to have everything in one place. The radio was on the floor, its battery cover removed, as David opened the packet of four batteries, pulling out two. The batteries went straight from package to radio. Battery number one went into the back of the radio and slid horizontally inside. Battery two had to be pressed in, pushing battery one up against something hidden inside the radio, turning two 1.5 volt batteries into a single 3 volt power supply. Done.

  Without bothering to replace the little plastic battery cover on the rear of radio, he flipped it over. This was it. News and information was literally at his fingertips. For no reason, he held his breath as he flipped the on switch.

  Click.

  Did he hear something? He wasn’t sure. His face was emotionless. He turned up the volume dial on the side. Nothing yet. His right index finger scrolled at the tuner dial. Was it even turned on? He spun it on its side to check. Yes, the switch was in the On position. No light on the front, however. His instinct was the check the batteries. Maybe they were dead. They’d been in storage for a couple of years. He rolled them a few times inside the radio. A pervasive thought was on the horizon of his mind, but he willfully ignored it. He had to ignore it. Doing three things at once, David wiggled the batteries, adjusted the tuner dial and flipped the On/Off switch back and forth.

  That unpleasant thought began to claw its way closer to the forefront of his conscious, however. He forced it away. Perhaps it was the batteries. It had to be the batteries. With his tired knees making a clicking noise, David got up from the floor and jogged into the living room. There on the sofa was the TV remote with its precious cargo of AA batteries inside. Those were only replaced about a month ago, so he knew they worked.

  “What are you doing?” asked an inquisitive Kelly from the bed.

  David didn’t answer. This was more serious than exchanging pleasant conversation. That can wait for just a few more seconds, when he had some good news.

  Falling back on his ass in the spare room, he pulled the batteries out of the TV remote and dropped them on his lap. They were still good, he knew this. With his fingers, he tugged on the little piece of fabric sticking out of the radio, which aided the removal of stubborn AA cells. One battery popped out onto the floor. David shook the radio sideways, so the other battery slid into view and fell out by itself.

  The new, or at least fairly new batteries went in. One… two… He put the battery cover on the back of the radio. His hands turned the device to face him and he took a breath.

  Click.

  He held the radio up to his ear and turned the volume knob but there was no sound. His breathing tightened and he clamped his jaw, pressing his molars together, hard. He’d invested everything into this moment.

  “...Fuck!” he shouted. “Fuck it! Fuck!”

  He hit down hard on the top of the microwave with his fist. Kelly didn’t say anything. She assumed by the lack of David’s response that powering up the radio wasn’t going as planned. She knew that when David got angry, the best thing was to let him get over it for a few minutes. Running in there holding him or telling him empty platitudes, such as, “Don’t worry, everything will work out,” only made him more agitated. She gave him space, but she too was upset. That radio was everything.

  After a minute of silence had passed, she spoke.

  “Check the other electronics.”

  After a few silent seconds, she heard the movement of objects in the spare room.

  David took the Geiger counter out of the microwave, along with the spare cell phone; a flip phone he bought and used often back in 2005, when it was new. The phone needed to be checked first. This was their way out. Sure, maybe the cellular networks were dead at that moment, but they’d be repaired in time. Putting the phone on his lap, he fished the phone’s battery out of the microwave and inserted it into the back of this now-antique piece of consumer electronics. He opened the flip phone like a clam shell. Even though they were old school, there was something satisfying about the physical activity of opening and closing a flip phone. He remembered when he used to use the phone daily, how rewarding it was to end a phone call by flipping it closed, either one-handed, or by pressing the top half of the phone against his cheek until it clapped like a plastic clam.

  Placing the phone’s battery into the back of the phone, he pressed and held the power button. Unfortunately, like the radio, it was unresponsive.

  He exhaled. Maybe the battery was dead? Or maybe just flat? After all, he bought it in 2005, and it had been sitting in the microwave for a couple of years. The phone might actually be OK. He needed to cling to that hope, as he reached in to grab the Geiger counter.

  David refused to allow himself optimism as he took unused AAA batteries out of a packet and inserted them into the back of the SOEKS detector that he’d bought from Amazon.com a few years ago. But, to David's immense disappointment, the same thing happened with the radiation meter as it did with the radio and cell phone. It was dead, completely unresponsive.

  “Why didn’t the Faraday cage work!?” David asked himself out loud. “Why didn’t it fucking work?”

  He slumped his back against a tall box of dry-stored food. This was going to be more difficult that he thought.

  Ten minutes has passed. That was enough time for David to cool off, thought Kelly. She got out of bed and walked into the spare room.

  “Dave, don't worry about the electronics for now. We need to get organized, food-wise. We’ve gotta inventory our supplies. You start counting what food we have and I’ll heat up some water for coffee. And bathing. We’re starting to stink and we have to stay clean.”

  Emotionally drained, David nodded.

 
; “I just don’t understand why the cage didn’t work,” he continued. “It must have been a hell of a pulse to go right through the microwave. It looks like it cooked everything inside. We’re no better off than anyone else.”

  “Not true. We actually know what’s going on and we can imagine what's happening out there today,” Kelly said, gesturing to the window. “Besides, we have food. But we’re gonna need to get more water. Check how much water we have stored. In the meantime, I’ll make some breakfast.”

  Kelly was right. This wasn’t the time to sulk. David sighed and began unpacking every box in the room, dragging extra boxes out of the closet and emptying their contents into a growing pile in the middle of the room, while Kelly poured cereal into bowls and heated up water for coffee. They still had relatively fresh milk in the fridge, but it had to be used today as the fridge was now at room temperature. Oh well, at least they had coffee. Thank heavens for small mercies.

  The two sat on the sofa, munching on cereal, two cups of hot coffee sitting, appropriately, on the coffee table in front of them. Normally the television would be on, but that 42 inch rectangle was now nothing more than an expensive and ineffective mirror.

  “I reckon we’ve got about six months of dry food. Rice, pasta, flour, jams, cooking oil, soap, etc. We’ve got bags of coffee and a few boxes of UHT milk, too,” David said. “Though we won’t know for sure how long we’ve got until we organize a meal plan. Besides, help might already be on its way by now.”

  A large pot of water was heating up on the stove in the kitchen.